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Windows 98 "Brooklyn Edition" A Brooklyn spoof on Windows 98 By Yolanda Boyle , 11/6/2004 Dear Consumers: It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS 98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands. Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza. When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava. Please also note: - Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island." - My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa." - The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk." - Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased,"or "Rubbed Out." - Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar." - Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses." - Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it down. - Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour." - Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up. CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION: OK...................Sure ting Cancel...........Fugetaboutit Reset.............Start Ova Yes.................Yeah No...................Nah Find................Put a contract out on Browse..........Get a looksee Back...............U toin Help................(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinkin' help) Stop.................Knock it off Start.................Move it! Settings..........Here's d' Rules * Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BROOKLYN EDITION platform don't recognize da letter "R." Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98: Typa................A word processin' program Printa...............Printer Calculata..........Calculator Solitare.............Seven Card Stud We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. Yous got a problem with that?